All I tell is truth as I see or remember it... that to be told.. I'm good at lying... even to my self.
I'm a country boy, even that it has been soon couple century's since I've lived officially at the country side. But you can't get that need out of man. I live in city, as long as needed.. but someday I'll be back.
Even since I was child, I've had amazing imagination. I didn't need friends to play with me... I could spend whole day in the forest all by my self, but I never was alone. Most of my plays were about fantasy, knights, magic... you get the picture.
my imagination did get me troupe.. or other around me. I'm still not sure of the facts but there might be chance that I have lie more than ones to make adult think that my brother did things I've done.
I have also drawn all my life... I can remember back in very first steps in school how teacher had to "wake" me from my drawing trance because I was living my drawing :D
I've been told later, that my close ones had tried to get me to be examined because of my ... huge amount of energy, but our school nurse did stop all that.. so.. my school times were quite horrible because most of teachers did treat me like I was stupid or bad because I could not stay still. but at home I was just let be free. So ..even that I did bring lot's of worries and grey hairs ... I think I was loved. and because of that I'm the man I'm today.
after elementary school I did actually want to study art's and crafts, and my art's teacher from elementary school did try to make me do that.. but all the other education people tried to say something else.. and I didn't want to move to far so.. I started to study media-crap. it was good because I found wifey trough that... and the school did give nice basic knowhow about all media.. tv.radio.computers... multimedia.. even acting and arts.
but the wifey is the best thing. even that there has been the normal up's and downs.. we are still together. and we have this amazing teenage son :D
I know there are people who don't understand when I say I'm what I am because of my wife. They don't see the same woman I see at my side and I don't know why. She's always there, even when she's angry at me (because I still do lot's of stupid thing's) she's always there and have my back. She's strong independent woman who for some reason has fallen in my spell. back when I tried to wrote my stories down she was giving me my support, but she did hint that that maybe was not the best way of use for my imagination. Later I've realized that she was right... I have stories and ideas, but I also have dyslexia and I forget a lot.. so.. I feel i'm more of use as support for my brother and hes writing project.
There was time, after our son had birth and I was send home from army training (because I did not agree with people to yell at me and tell to do stupid things just because.. later I did get freed for that because of my physic's and mental health) that I tried to suppress my need of story telling. I tried to use my social skill's and learn to be practical nurse... when that failed.. I tried to be builder.. but my knee didn't agree with that or my head with all the numbers.. back then I didn't know I had any difficulties because no one ever had told me that... there might be. I was kind of under the impression that I am just kind of slow.
Well we moved a lot.. I bought a lot of stupid stuff that I didn't need.. I did all kind of stupid just because I could an never thought twice was it smart.
Then after short working period I found my self as studying to be youth worker.. leader.. what ever. around then I accidentally met this psychology who tough that all was not fine with me. No. this was little before I started the school. the psychology send me to psychiatry the head doctor... and soon after that I was told some things they think was true to me.. and to be honest. I was relieved after that. They did study me quite a lot. some different people.. to make this easier, I use word's I understand.
I'm Idiot Savant - well.. kind of.. I don't have the middle thing around in many things.. I'm either idiot or genius. Like.. Math.. i'm total idiot.. but crafts.. I haven't found what I can't do... wait no. that's a lie.. crochet that I can't understand at all.. but this far I've learned well.. quite without anyone really teaching... some people just have give me tools and maybe little hints... I can work with wood. I can do tiny sculpting s.. or build house for dog. I can do tiny metal work.. like silver.. I've made several silver rings. I can paint.. draw.. make food or.. bread. and I can work with clay.
But I suck with most of reading and without writing aid I could not write even this blog. But blog writing is the... easiest way for me to express my thoughts. I have difficulties with speaking.. I forget words all the time and I stutter. I'm afraid of people, not as individuals but as crowd.. all the feast and stuff are horrible so I use to be drunk all that time.. now I have left most of alcohol because it make's me do stupid things and be horrible person... but I love beer so.. I hold on to that.
what else.. so.. I'm kind of idiot savant.. I have dyslexia, I'm "adhd" child (I don't believe in adhd) I have bipolar disorder, maniac.. I have most of times way to much energy and speed to stop thinking... but I have been depressed too couple times. and.. that's just what I have in head. (I must say that the same head doctor did say also that I'm idiot with languages ... so not sure how much I can but weigh on that on particular doctor because I speak and write two languages (Finnish and English) not perfect either but good enough for people to understand. I also do understand little Swedish and Spanish and even some words of Germany, French and Korean.. and if there would be people who speak those around me.. I would learn more soon.
oh and I have broken back, knee and wrists (wrists are still mystery why).
what else should I tell you? I'm huge fan of Sir Terry Pratchett (and let's just say that Neil Gaiman, Douglas Adams, J.R.R Tolkien, George Martin, Ursula LeGuin and Robin Hobb are high in my list... and them are not all) so.. I read much even that it's slow and hard sometimes.. but funny enough normal books are quite easy for me to read, but study books with al the numbers mix there and different columns and stuff.. those I cant.. or most of new's papers.. because the same reason.
Movies and tv series are high on my enjoyment too.. I quite often do art and watch something at the same time :D just to keep me not getting bored.
Back to story then... after all this.. I still did try to study Youth counselor stuff... but middle of school me and teachers agreed on that this is no good... because the fact that I was good with kids. as teachers say I have weird charisma that demanded people to listen me... so when I had a good day.. soon everyone had.. but damn if I had horrible day.. the rest of week was ruined for poor kid's too.. and other people who worked with me..
so it was again time to look for new ideas? I finally did start to look around art's and crafts seriously. Not to far from our home there was this.. Indoor textile school.. you know.. felting, make textiles, cloths, but em on furniture and stuff.. I somehow was interested on that... I even started to study that... until employment agency shoot me down.
at that point.. I had breakdown.
I was lucky enough that after half a year sick free I get in rehab to art workshop..
after the rehab I get in ceramic's and I started more seriously other art stuff too.. and.. well. here we are now.
I'm at the point that in year or two I will start my own studio and do this full time (well I do already but I have no means to get money to make a living by this) maybe even get to somewhere far because of my talents ;)
I promise this is the longest blog I write.. for now on.. It'll be more art, or what I do. or how I did it stuff.. maybe even some videos from youtube.